She left me. I can't live without her. Was it love or attachment? What should I do now?


I admit that this is a very emotional and painful question. It is not just about two individuals who love each other. In every relationship we feel some attachment with each other and how sad we feel in our life when they leave us. It is unbearable pain and the person will break down. Many youngsters are troubled by this question. They try to come out of it but due to feelings and attachment they take wrong decision. My dear friend, just think that you are the only person with whom this is happening? Your answer would be "no". So what are they doing to come out of it? Moreover, have you ever tried to understand that you were both in true love or that it was just an attachment?

To understand love I would like to mention a true love story. The Krishna, this name we all know. He taught us the true meaning of love. Love is not always something to be achieved. Sometimes, it has to be a sacrifice. Krishna loves Radha unconditionally. They both love each other without any expectations and they are both incomplete without each other. They were connected with heart and love!! It is unconditional love. Krishna was not married to Radha. Instead, he married Rukmini and Satyabhama. Therefore, the devotees wonder why Krishna did not marry Radha, whom he loved very much. According to one philosophy, Radha and Krishna were never two entities. In fact, they were one. So, when Krishna and Radha were one, how could they get married? The relationship between Radha and Krishna was spiritual. It was above the happiness, rules and laws of the earth. They were spiritually united, and so there was no need for marriage. Some love stories are like Radha and Krishna; they have supreme love, but unfortunately live apart.

So my dear friend, do you think your love was supreme?

If the answer is yes then you should understand that love is not always something to be achieved. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made. It is very painful but you should accept it like Krishna.

Going further, I would like to categorize the people who come into our lives.  New people keep coming into our lives in so many different ways. But not all stay back; some just drift away with time, while others leave even before you could get the chance to understand them. But all of these people come in as one of the following:

1) A Reason

2) A Season

3) A Lifetime

1) A reason

They simply come into your life for a particular reason. Maybe to help you through a difficult time, teach you an important lesson, or support you when you most need it. Almost like a godsend: present when you need them and may leave when you no longer do. So accept it, thank them and move on because their work is done.

2) A season

These people may come into your life for a longer period. They blossom your life like the monsoon, give you sweet memories like winter and bring in the heat like summer, help you experience peace, love, pain and growth, but eventually they too leave, just like any season would. So, you should understand them, thank them, and accept it like you would accept and enjoy the different seasons of the year.

3) A lifetime

These people come into your life to stay. Whatever the situation may be, they teach you the most important lessons and create bonds that last a lifetime. Identify them, respect them and thank them for coming into your life. They are the ones who will never leave.

Now classify her from these three categories and try to accept the situation. Remember one thing, "No one can take from us what is in our destiny and no one can give to us what is not in our destiny." This is the "mantra" of being happy and content in life. Love all the people around you and take care of them until the time comes. Don't be attached to them. Just enjoy the present. If they want to leave you, let them go, don't try to hold them. They will walk away from you and they will come to you if they are in your destiny. If they do not come to you, just take a deep breath and remind your heart that they are not in your destiny.

Acceptance of situation will help you to get out of it.

What will help you in this situation?

Read a book - it will help you to understand the different aspects of your situations.

Meditation- It will help you to understand your feelings and strengthen your thoughts.

Post your question or feedback in the comment section.

- Jignesh Ahalgama

Author of the book "Secrets of a complex life"

Note: The author does not claim that this is the best answer to your question. This is just the author's opinion; your point of view may differ from the author's point of view. 



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